If you prick us, do we not bleed? If you poison us, do we not die? If you give us computer cleaner, do we not inhale?

I´m going to admit right now that I´ve huffed. I´m not proud of it, but like most people who were once in middle school, I huffed. Ok, so maybe I wasn´t in middle school, but actually college when I huffed, but I did it, I´m not proud of it, but I do find it rather funny and stupid. I´ve only done it once, so don´t get all interventional on me. Plus, talking about huffing is way more fun than actually doing it because it´s really pathetic and stupid. Whatever, that´s over.

Here´s my point, and one Hoosier Lush, is sure to love this little tidbit of information: one certain sanctimonious somebody who will remain nameless because I don´t want to upset this person, but the Lush knows who this person is, and please don´t mention this person´s name or codename, but anyway...this certain someone was very condescending about our huffing at this certain party. Come on, I only did two huffs. It was nothing really, but as someone who didn´t huff, he had the right to make us feel bad, and he probably should have, because it´s oh so white trash. I think growing up in the Region, it´s just something you have to do...like getting a license, pointing out mullets at the county fair, having a friend who owns a camaro, work at the waterpark, huff, etc. But anyways, this person was all up on his/her highhorse about how bad it is to huff, and now I get it from firsthand account that THIS PERSON HUFFED LAST WEEK. AND, this person had huffed before. YES, HYPOCRITE HUFFER. This person doesn´t think it´s the same thing because it´s oh so much more dignified to huff pure NO2 the most plentiful gas in the atmosphere than to huff Circuit City computer cleaner, but I´m here to say that just because it comes in a prettier container and is a little purer doesn´t mean it isn´t HUFFING. IT´S HUFFING and you DAMN WELL KNOW IT. HUFFER. YOU. HUFFER. That´s like saying that there should be different jail sentences for crack and cocaine possession just because someone is a little bit poorer and more desperate. That´s right, I did it working class style and you did it in a more controlled, sanitary manner. Does that make it better? Hell no. I hope this is reading funny, because I´m laughing as I´m typing it. I love talking about huffing, it´s so juvenile. (I haven´t huffed since and don´t plan to huff in the future, so please spare me the Family Ties shalalala moment.)

So that´s my spiel. I hope you enjoyed it. Who among us hasn´t enjoyed a good huff once in our lives? If you prick us, do we not bleed? If you poison us, do we not die? If you give us computer cleaner, do we not inhale? And if you wrong us, shall we not revenge? (Take that, hypocrite! And please don´t get mad. It´s all in good jest, and I´ve preserved all reputations involved, except for me and the Lush, because I thought she deserved a reference and knew she would enjoy this entry. So there it is. Please no comments revealing true identities.)